Winning Lotto Ticket
by ironmanlover2005
Summary: Tony Stark walks into the store where you work. Hilarity ensues.
1. Chapter 1

The sun was down. Freezing cold. But you were inside on the tail end of one of your night shifts at work in the deep trenches of New York. You were behind the cash register, in full uniform, sighing in complete boredom because of the lack of excitement in your life. The life of a young cashier was hard but you got through it every day by telling yourself that you had to get that bread from somewhere or else you would be starving to death after having eaten the last can of cat food (tastes like tuna and is significantly cheaper with an employee discount so you didn't mind). Working at a drugstore had its benefits sometimes.

You were hunched over the counter, waiting for the next customer to show up so you can ring them up but the entire store was almost empty. The only people there were you, the clerk who just walked around doing nothing all night and a couple pharmacists in the back. You were basically alone at the front of the store so things looked pretty dull.

After about the sixth time you finished counting the number of dust particles on your cash register, the sliding doors opened up. Finally a customer walked in.

A person in a big metallic suit walked in slowly. You heard a big thud with every step he made. It was an Iron Man suit. You rolled your eyes in disbelief and thought to yourself that it must be some nerd with a very elaborate Iron Man cosplay. The suit was quite impressive but as a diehard Iron Man fan you noticed that the suit looked nothing like Tony Stark's.

The person walked slowly, looking around in each direction with those Iron Man glowing eyes. He noticed you at the front and made his way to your cash register.

"One lottery ticket please," he said with his robotic voice changer. Sounded exactly like Iron Man. You were impressed but you barely understood what he said.

"I'm sorry, I didn't catch that."

He opened his mask and you saw his face. It was Tony Stark live in the flesh. His sexy goatee, those beady little eyes, the manly stubble around his jawline. Your eyes opened wide in disbelief.

"Uhhh…M-M-Mr. Stark?!" You exclaimed.

He took his helmet off and slicked his hair back. "One lottery ticket please".

"Holy shit, it's YOU. I'm such a big fan! Thank you for saving New York from those aliens that one time! Oh my god, holy crap, I can't believe you're here!"

He put his finger up as if to say "one moment" and then took out his Airpods from each ear.

"Sorry, I was listening to my theme song. Now could you hand me a lottery ticket?"

"S-s-sure thing Mr. Stark."

"Don't call me that. Just call me Mr. Billionaire or Mr. Amazing. Or maybe just Tony."

"O-oh ok." You nervously replied while ringing up the lottery ticket. "That'll be five dollars sir."

"What did I just say?"

"To call you Tony…" You answered back while blushing.

"Right," He replied. "Do you guys accept the official Avengers™ credit card?"

"Uhm no…We only take Visa."

"Damn, hold on." He patted his suit down as if he was looking for his wallet. "Crap, I forgot it in my Mark IV suit."

"Oh don't worry, it's on me," You offered while frantically taking out a five dollar bill from your own pockets and ringing it up.

"Thanks uhh," He said while squinting his eyes to look at your nametag. "Thanks, Y uhhh N, is it?"

"Oh my name isn't Y.N." You took your nametag off. "I misplaced my nametag and borrowed someone else's."

"Well thanks anyways." He replied with a cheeky grin. "Anyways I'm sure you heard that half the population got wiped out last week so I gotta get back to hunting a guy named Thanos. Have you seen him lately by any chance?"

You looked around in confusion. "Uhm no not really, what does he look like?"

"Big guy, purple, has a big glove with different colored stones on it. Ring a bell?"

"Nope, but I think I saw a man in a giant rhino suit destroying cars the other day."

"Oh that's one of Spider-Man's villains. Don't care about him."

"Ah ok…Sorry then I haven't seen Thanos."

"That's fine, he might be on another planet anyways."

"Oh."

You nodded your head. He picked up his lottery ticket and put it in one of his secret compartments that opened up from his suit.

"Nice meeting you," He put his helmet back on, turned on his jets from underneath his boots and started floating. He floated his way out the door but before he could fly away you ran after him.

"Tony wait!" You yelled out at the top of you lungs. He turned his head back and flew back down to where you stood.

"You need an autograph or something?" He asked.

"No, I just need to ask you something…" You said as your cheeks turned a rosy red with nervousness. You looked down to the ground, grabbed one of your arms as you always did when you became shy and then looked back up to Tony.

"Spit it out, kid."

"Well…I just wanted to ask you…" You paused a bit and then you just blurted it out. "Why does a billionaire like you need a lottery ticket?"

He looked at you awkwardly and then flew away without saying a word.


	2. Chapter 2

It was yet another boring evening at the drugstore in the deep trenches of New York. There was barely any customers. You could almost hear the sound of crickets outside as you were gazing out the window behind your cash register. You let out an audible sigh while contemplating sticking a pencil in your eye just for the heck of it. The only thing keeping you from quitting was the dream of one day owning a pair of Balenciaga shoes without taking a bank loan.

As you were inching the pencil closer and closer to your eyelid, a very abnormal customer walked in. His enormous stature took you by surprise as you watched him make his way through the entrance. His head almost cracked the top of the sliding door while walking in. His ginormous boots made a thunderous thud and left footprints on the floor tiles with each step he made.

_THUD THUD THUD._

You stared at him up and down, analyzing his poor fashion sense. Who wears one metallic glove and a full golden armor suit in the middle of winter? Such a fashion faux pas…

_THUD THUD THUD_.

He inched closer and closer to your cash register with each step. He was nearly 9 feet tall so one step was like a giant leap for any normal sized person.

"Uhm, may I help you?" You said nervously.

"Yes, child," He replied with his deep and intimidating voice. "Give me a lottery ticket."

You printed out a ticket and handed it to the mysterious, gigantic man.

"H-here you go, sir. That'll be 3 dollars."

"3 dollars? That's absurd," He complained and slammed his gloved hand on the counter.

"It's 3 dollars sir. That's what it says on the cash register…"

"Reality is often disappointing" He asserted while lifting his hand up and snapping his fingers. A big red light suddenly flashed from his glove. You shielded your eyes but regained your composure to try and calm him down.

"Uhm sir, I'm telling you it's–" You tried explaining but then you realized that the price on the cash register suddenly said 1.50. "Dude…what?"

"Reality can be whatever I want." He said.

"Sure…I must have read it wrong. Sorry, that'll be 1.50."

He handed you the change and you rung up his lottery ticket. You offered him the receipt but he didn't take it. You just wanted him gone at this point.

_THUD THUD THUD._

He walked out leaving a big trail of boot marks on the floor. You thought to yourself that the boss won't be too happy to see those the next day. You let out a chuckle then went back to slowly inching the pencil to your eye.

A couple minutes later you heard another customer walk in.

It was Tony Stark, AGAIN!

You were excited to see him. Last time he stopped by things ended a little awkwardly.

He floated his way in front of your register with his full Iron Man suit. When he got there he took off his helmet and cracked a cheeky smile.

"Hey kid," He said. "Long time no see."

"H-h-hi Mr. Stark."

"Remember what I told you last time, kid?"

"Uhm yeah sorry, Tony." You apologized for not saying his name like he told you. You smiled awkwardly. "Another lotto ticket?"

"Yeah, and make it a winner this time."

"Haha…" You fake chuckled because you hear that stupid joke from old people every day. "That'll be 1.50."

"Wow they lowered the price?" He asked.

"Apparently."

"Give me another one then."

You printed out another ticket and scanned both. He gave you the money but was short by 10 cents.

"You're missing 10 cents…" You said while pointing at the change in your hand.

"You serious? I just got back from space, give me a break." He replied while rolling his eyes and tapping his metallic fingers on the counter very annoyingly.

"Whatever, I think I have some change in my pocket." You offered to pay the 10 cent difference for him just to get the transaction over with. Things were getting a little awkward yet again.

"By the way, I noticed some big foot prints on your floor. What happened?" He asked.

"Oh nothing. Just some freakishly tall customer who came in earlier."

"Was it Thanos by any chance?"

"What's a Thaynos?"

"Thanos."

"That's what I said. Thaynos."

"You're saying Thay-noss" He said while visibly being a little ticked off at your pronunciation. "It's Thah-noss," He enunciated emphatically with his lips.

"He didn't mention his name."

"Was his skin color purple?"

"Excuse me?" You were taken aback by the question.

"Was he PURR-PULL," He repeated very annoyingly while hunching over the counter towards you.

"First of all, I don't profile people by the color of their skin," You answered in a sassy manner while snapping your fingers in a Z formation. "Second, no he wasn't purple. He was violet."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes I think I know my colors, Tony."

"Damn, must have been some crappy cosplayer. My mistake, kid."

"No problem."

"Anyways, if you see Thanos, call me. I've been looking all over the galaxy for him."

"But how would I call you? I don't have your number," You said while sliding your new iPhone 4S over the counter so he could put his digits in. If you get Tony _freaking_ Stark's number you might possibly text him out of the blue one day and he might possibly come over to possibly get freaky.

You suddenly started daydreaming about all the smut and drooling from the mouth. When you snapped back to reality you realized Tony was stealing some chocolate bars and stashing them in his suit.

"Uh you gonna pay for those?"

"For what?"

"Nothing…"

"See ya later, kid." He said while putting his helmet back on. "**THRUSTERS ON**! Jarvis, play Despacito." He yelled to power his jets and play his crappy music. You watched him slowly fly away outside the window.

When you turned around you noticed he forgot his lottery tickets on the counter.


	3. Chapter 3

It was almost closing time at the drugstore. You were eager to get back home after a long day of work. Only five minutes left until you could close up your cash register and bolt out of there. This was it. The moment you waited for all day long. There weren't any customers left in the store. You were counting down each excruciating second. Those five minutes felt like an eternity.

You looked at the clock and noticed there was exactly 93 seconds left until closing. You were hoping with all your might that no one would enter the store at the last minute. You were visibly sweating in anticipation. The sweat dripped down your forehead, your hands clenched tightly. Only 67 seconds left.

You suddenly heard the door open. Your heart skipped a beat. You turned your head around so quick your neck almost snapped. You gazed at the front entrance trying to spot the motherfucker that walked in so you could give them the most ruthless death stare in the history of life. To your surprise there was nothing there. You smirked and put your hand on your chest in relief. It must have been the wind causing the door to open.

"**Hey kid**!"

Frightened, you fell back and almost started hyperventilating. You were so busy staring at the entrance that you didn't notice the customer was right in front of your cash register the whole time.

You were absolutely shell-shocked that someone had the audacity to walk in with only 26 seconds left until you could leave this godforsaken place. Your face was red with rage. Fumes were almost coming out of your ears.

"You there kid? Hello?"

You got back up to your feet to see who the punk ass was that ruined your entire night. It was none other than Iron Man himself, Tony Stark. No suit though.

"Hey kid, you good? Need some help?"

"N-no…" You said with a tired voice, letting out an audible sigh. "So what'll it be this time Mr. Stark."

"Remem–"

"What'll it be this time, _TONY_," You exclaimed while still upset at the whole situation.

He dropped 13 Snickers bars on the counter.

"I'll take these and can I also get uuuuuhhhhhhhhh…"

You stood there for a good 10 seconds waiting until he finally spit out what he wanted.

"Uuuuhhhhh, one lottery ticket please," He finally said. "Make it a winner this time," He let out a chuckle at his own dumb joke, expecting you to laugh. You just stood there awkwardly and rolled your eyes.

You got the lottery ticket and started scanning one of the Snickers bars over and over. He put his hand on yours to stop you from scanning it some more.

"Problem?" You asked, confused.

"Scan them one by one."

"Why?"

"To prevent any electrical _infeterence_," He let out a cheeky smile and let go of your hand. You smirked back while asking yourself if that's even a real word.

You started scanning them one by one like he said.

"Wait hold on," He stopped you mid-scan. "Aren't they on special for .99 cents?"

"No, they're normal price. $1.25 each…"

"Could you check? I saw them at .99 cents."

You started muttering curse words under your breath as you walked out from behind the counter to do a price check on the stupid chocolate bars. You checked it real quick and got back behind your register.

"They're $1.25 each like I said. You saw the wrong price sticker. The store brand Snockers are on special for .99 cents," You explained calmly.

"Are you sure?"

"Positive," You replied while getting even more visibly upset.

"Can't you make an exception for me?" He asked. "I just got back from almost starving to death in space. Kinda hungry for some Snickers right now…"

"Aren't you a rich genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist?" You replied. You couldn't believe Tony Stark was actually doing this right now.

"Yeah, so?"

"Nothing…"

"So can you change the price for little old me? I saved New York from getting destroyed you know."

"No," You firmly asserted.

"I'll just take one Snickers and the lotto ticket."

"That'll be $4.50. You need a bag?″

"No."

"The environment thanks you," You sarcastically said.

He gave you a $5 bill that looked like it was counterfeit but you took it anyways because you wanted to get his ass out of here as ASAP as possible.

"Here you go," You handed him his change.

"Have a nice night with the family," Tony said as he took his change.

"Uhm, most of my family was turned into dust recently for some reason…" You awkwardly said.

"Sorry. You can blame Thor for not going for the head."

"Who?"

"See ya later, kid." He said while waving goodbye and putting his sunglasses on. It was night time so he just looked weird. "I'm off to fight Thanos and save the world again."

"Sure…"

He walked past the sensors on the way out and started beeping. You looked down at the counter and noticed all 13 Snickers bars were gone.


	4. Chapter 4

Yet another restless night at the drugstore. You were in the middle of a long and boring shift behind the counter. You were the only one operating the cash register that night because the other employee decided to call in sick for the 5th week in a row.

Despite being short staffed, things were running oddly smoothly. Being located in the deep trenches of New York had its perks sometimes. Not many people knew about your drugstore. On the other hand, many weirdos show up every day but nothing out of the ordinary. Just some 9 foot tall shitty cosplayers in violet bodysuits.

It was getting pretty late during your dull shift. You were stuffing your face with chocolate just waiting until the end of your shift when all of a sudden a lineup started forming at your cash. Before you knew it, you were passing waves of customers. The lineup never seemed to end.

Suddenly you heard a man let out an audible sigh from the back of the line. Everyone turned around to look at him in displeasure, including you while you were ringing up some customer.

"Oh for the love of Odin, can you **_please_** go faster," The man yelled out from way in the back of the lineup.

When you spotted the man, you finally realized who it was. Tony Stark was at your store yet again. This time being an insufferable nuisance to everyone, including you.

As usual he was wearing his full Iron-Man suit. He raised his mask just to keep sighing and coughing very loudly. The people in front of him were unimpressed and noticeably annoyed. Some woman held her little kid closer because Tony was acting like a crazy person you would find at the back of the bus. One man kept angrily shaking his head every time Tony coughed like a hyena.

You were passing customers one by one as fast as you could. The line was moving but still very slowly.

Tony finally had enough of waiting and took out his official Avengers™ ID card.

"Excuse me, pardon me," Tony said as he flashed his ID card in everyone's face while cutting the line. "Official Avenger here. Coming through. Move".

The rest of the customers were pissed off. Some man tried to punch Tony in the back of the shoulder but he didn't feel it due to the armor.

He finally showed up at your counter.

"Hey kid, long time no see," He said with a smirk on his face.

"Uhhh hi Tony," You awkwardly muttered. "Another lottery ticket?"

"Yeah, and make it–"

"A winner. Yeah yeah I know."

You rung up the ticket.

"Anything else?"

"Yeah actually. I'm trying to figure out a way to time travel. Do you have a flux capacitor and a battery with 1.21 gigawatts?"

"No…" You said in confusion. You had no idea what he was blabbering about. Time travel? The man is a genius but he was talking like a crazy person.

"Oh never mind then. I saw it in a movie once and thought you would have it."

"Yeah sure…." You rolled your eyes. "So that'll be all?"

"Yeah."

"That'll be 1.50 for the ticket please."

He pulled out a $100 bill from the back of his suit and handed it to you. You looked at it carefully and noticed it had his face smiling with two thumbs up on the front of the bill. It was obviously fake and probably printed by Tony himself but you didn't want to waste more time so you rung it up and handed him his change.

"Thanks, kid. When I get back from traveling through time and defeating Thanos I better be a lottery winner."

"Okay…Have a nice trip," You responded.

At this point you thought Tony Stark was going senile with all this talk about time travel and a giant purple man named Thanos. You were glad he was leaving.

He turned on his thrusters and started floating away. Knocking over everything in his path and making papers and dust fly all over the place. The customers in line all put their hands in front of their faces to brace themselves at all the shit flying everywhere.

You promptly went back to passing all the customers at your cash as soon as Tony left.

Suddenly you heard a loud and rugged voice shout from the back of the line again.

"I could snap my fingers, and you'd all cease to exist."

You looked up and spotted a 9 foot tall purple man with a big gold glove.

"Oh great,_ anothe_r crazy person…" You muttered to yourself.


End file.
